Thursday, March 3, 2011

Funny marriage quotes

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita Rudner

Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes.
J B Priestley

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
Irwin Corey

Sometimes I bust out and do things so permanent. Like tattoos and marriage.
Drew Barrymore

Marriages are said to be made in Heaven, which may be why they don't work here on Earth.
Thomas Szasz

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.
Les Dawson

I am very glad you have heard of it, anyway [when asked about his marriage]
Prince Charles

An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring... I ought to know.
Bette Davis

One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.
Honore De Balzac

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
Helen Rowland

On marriage to Madonna: 'We are not that flash, me or the missus. In fact, we are quite low-maintenance.'
Guy Ritchie

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connelly

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
Isadora Duncan

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they have experienced pain and bought jewellery
Rita Rudner

Some people dance through life, not having a steady job or a steady marriage, and this and that.
Nastassja Kinski

I will not remarry. I'm so grateful for the marriages that I have had. I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't had those.
Cheryl Tiegs

Marriage is miserable unless you find the right person that is your soulmate and that takes a lot of looking.
Marvin Gaye

The life-fate of the modern individual depends not only upon the family into which he was born or which he enters by marriage, but increasingly upon the corporation in which he spends the most alert hours of his best years.
C Wright Mills

On marriage to ex Beverly Hills 90210 star Shannen Doherty: I was never really sober through that whole relationship. I was out of my f***ing soul.
Ashley Hamilton

We are clear that the interpretation I have set out in this statement is correct [on saying Charles marriage to Camilla was legal]
Lord Falconer

The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.
Barbara De Angelis

There may be good, but there are no pleasant marriages.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.
Helen Rowland

Compromise, if not the spice of life, is its solidity. It is what makes nations great and marriages happy
Phyllis McGinley

Thus Dante's motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage: 'Ye who enter here leave all hope behind.'
Emma Goldman

We're good friends. I adore him and have a lot of time for him, but he's really not marriage material. He's out there and not ready to settle down [on T4 presenter Steve Jones]
Sarah Harding

It's a marriage. If I had to choose between my wife and my putter, well, I'd miss her.
Gary Player

Marriage takes work, but so does living alone. One of the things you have to work at is to have enough human resources and to plan ahead.
Barbara Feldon

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.
Neil Simon

There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.
C S Lewis

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.
George Jessel

Both my marriages were failures! Number one departed, and number two stayed
Gustav Mahler

Marriage is the waste-paper basket of the emotions
Sidney Webb

There is a time for all things - except marriage my dear.
Thomas Chatterton

More belongs to marriage than four legs in a bed.
Rainer Maria Rilke

A cynic should never marry an idealist. For the cynic, marriage represents the welcome end of romantic life, with all its agony and ecstasy. But for the idealist, it is only the beginning.
Julie Burchill

Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful.
Phyllis McGinley

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.
David Letterman

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Honore De Balzac

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Ogden Nash

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.
Amy Grant

She's my wife, not my girlfriend. Maybe for her it is better. For me, she's still the same girl, just my wife [on if marriage has changed him!]
Nikolay Davydenko

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.
Sydney Smith

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without. [Advice to those preparing for marriage]
James C Dobson

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce

In marriage do thou be wise; prefer the person before money; virtue before beauty; the mind before the body.
William Penn

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short
Andre Maurois

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